Chapter 1

 All right, let's begin this story with my trip to Germany, but just right before I'm going to tell you why I fall in depression because of a girl I liked.

It was year 2010, I was in high school, just 15 years old. It was my senior year and one girl from another class came and joined the class by her will. She just stared at me because, I think, she liked me or because I was the person next to the window in the first row. However, I had some feelings for her but not yet liked her or anything, just like curiosity.

She had long brown and curly hair, she sat next to me, then it was a silence for most of the time. I just remember that next day, the jerk of the class came to sit right by her side. They came along well, so I just thought I had missed my chance and never looked forward to it.

Then this hell of a nightmare started, the group of my class went to a benefit concert because of our CAS (creativity, action and service). We were doing the baccalaureate program, so yeah I had some privileges despite being in a poor education system in a Third World country. I had a future, I HAD A LIFE. Then, she came as usual to the concert, she stared at me again like the first time we met (I had known her since before, but I refer to the time she entered to my classroom). She hugged me very deeply, I asked her why was she hugging me so tight and if she was cold, then she proceeded to kiss my neck, an area that is very intimate to me and I felt like raped, but I liked it though. I don't know, I had never had a girlfriend and girls weren't really of my interest, but after that I grabbed her tightly and tried to kiss her, she lied back and tried to escape, I tried to hold her as long as I could.

Sorry, this brings back memories I don't want to bring back.

But long story short, after that day I was in love with her, and she had forgotten what she did to me. Really depressing though, not going to lie. She was gaslighting me, trying to induce me in the feeling it was all my fault, that I should have never let myself being raped. I cried every night in my bed, I was in fact a 15 years old with no knowledge of the world.

The jerk I was talking about, he did something with her, maybe they started dating each other, I didn't know it at first. They told rumors about me dating another girl, a girl that was my friend and that maybe wanted something more, but I really was captivated with the long curly brown-haired girl, I had no eyes for anyone else.

Then one day, I saw them together, I was shy, and I could have never done anything to interpose in their relationship, but she noticed I was almost crying and that at that moment I didn't want to look at her again. So she started making a drama, she insulted her boyfriend, she ran over when I was grabbing my math book and I had to run away from her. I was obsessed, maybe, I was very sad and depressed, yeah.

So, anyway those were the events that led to me being depressed and although there are more and more, this story is not about how I went depressed for being shy and rejected by a girl, so I'm going to explain further my trip to Germany in the next chapter.